Call me a loser but I just read this and it kinda upset me, I teared up a lil bit...
- 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second in the air will create enormous friction and Santa, his reindeers and his sleigh will instantly burn to death, just like meteors that occasionally enter earth's atmosphere.
Thus, we can safely conclude that if Santa ever existed, he was dead when he attempted his seemingly impossible project for the first time and is no more alive.
And now the font is effed up...
I dunno how to fix it, but look Christmas colours!
-That took me a surprisingly long time, alternate colour lines!
So I'm going to the children's Christmas mass in an hour [I'm taking my kids, they don't do services for people with a child's mentality, like me, so a children's service was the next best thing] and I'm still in my jammies, so I should make this short and get ready, but that's impossible.
RED.
Yehh so I have a theory about Santa, not very plausible but I like to think it's true, but I'll mention it later.
On Monday, I went to the library [had a whole work plan figured out since I have an exam in January, but my plan has failed and I have done nought]
Anyway, I'm in the library TRYING to do work, but people keep texting me, Emily rang me like 10 times and I ran into 2 people I knew, so doing wok failed.
Then Em rings me and I'm like 'WHAT?!' she tells me to look outside and this is what I see:
My step mum just interrupted my story telling to tell me we have to be in church for half past 5! and we're leaving in 20 mins?! :(
If church starts at 6 and the only reason they're saying we have to be in half hour early is so that people aren't late, Ima be pissed! I'll continue writing this later. I was getting into this!
Bah humbug.
HA! 45 mins past midnight and I start finishing off a Christmas post about Monday...dayum.
First off: MERRY CHRISTMAS!!
Hope everyone's having/had an amazing Christmas, full of joy, happiness and all the presents + food you can manage.
If you didn't get everything you wanted, and you're pissed about it MAN UP
Think of all the things you have, presents can't measure love and happiness, and that's something everybody has.
Okay so long story short, I'll explain in photos.
IT DOESN'T SNOW HERE, sometimes, EVER
Snow from outside the library:
[with my bus blurring past]
Outside the library without/with my friends looking kinda scary:
I like how the umbrellas come out when it snows, snow is so pretty everyone tends to forget it's like a softer, silent version of rain IT RUINS YOUR HAIR.
Still pretty.
My local shopping centre outside:
Brits can't cope with snow. The sudden queue for the cash machine HA:
Quote from my friend: 'Helen, I'm sure it's illegal to take photos of randomers without their consent' PFFFT, they'll never know.
So then we went to Starbucks, cos revising, while our friends are drinking hot chocs and watching people rush by in the snow, was out of the question! And that's what I did, drank hot choc and watched kids play in the snow, and a family of santas walk past, well they were wearing the hats. [they blurred themselves :(]
I've changed the size of pics, medium loads faster.
My friends in S'bucks:
[notice my awesome photography with the sign and some Xmas decorations in the background]
My friends look weird, they're much better looking than that in real life, honest! Otherwise they wouldn't be my friends...HAHA
NOW for my Santa theory.
There's something magical going on.
How is it, only around Christmas time, men with white hair and beards wearing red suddenly all emerge?! And Mrs. Claus?!
Honestly, it's too much of a coincidence to not be true! People keep telling me it's cos I don't notice them in the Summer ALL LIES, I have too much of a short attention span to be so emerged in conversation to miss Santa walking past!
Anyway, within 10 mins, 2 Mr & Mrs Claus came to have a pitt stop and refuel in bucks [and they sat in the same seats!]
Then Anandi came! And she had two surprises for us under her coat.
She was naked and had her wand out.
Okay I'm joking, sorta.
She was wearing an awesome Christmas skirt [I loved it, everyone else thinks it's lame]
And cos she's a Harry Potter loser, she brought her wand along that she bought for herself but pretended to her rents that we bought it for her for xmas:
Quick funny story, when Fran first came, she got her hot choc with cream, put on the table and as she was sitting down Mary and Emily started shouting NO STOP DON'T SIT DOWN and she was like 'hold on let me sit down then I'll...oh'
Her coat went through the cream on her hot choc, she sat down and got it all over my coat and leggings!
I was pissed. But then she started flicking her straw around and flicked cream on me [accidently] and I found it funny, then she did it again! And it got hilarious.
Everyone was like FRAN JUST STOP MOVING
and then she got a bit annoyed and went 'You're like my mother! I do something one time and you guys won't let it go!' As she said that, she spat cream and got it on my face!
I would have been disgusted if it wasn't so funny.So I swapped seats with Emily, and just as I was sitting down I hear Fran and Em start screeching with laughter, Fran had offered Em her cake and, guess what?! She had accidently dropped the cake on Emily instead.
HAHA
Had-to-be-their-moment, cos no one reading this probs finds this funny.
Crazy Fran:
Just realised, this must be really boring for anyone who's still reading...if anyone is.
If anyone is reading, comment code word 'gobble gobble'
LOL I'm watching Four Christmases while doing this, it's good 10 mins in
''You can't spell 'families' without 'lies'', I'm using that cos it's so true!
Anyway, this must be really boring for anyone reading apart from me cos I was there...so Ima just insert pics and short sentences.
We left S'bucks [with a smile cos of a cute message on the door]:
and went to the most festive restraunt you could go to on a day when the weather has caused absoloute chaos, awful traffic, stand stills and all and everyone was Christmas shopping.
A MEXICAN!
Yehh I know the colours of the glag are green,white and red but you wouldn't see the white otherwise.
Photos from Mexican, awesome hat CHIMICHANGAS [look it up, nutella, ice cream and banana, YUM] ignore the demonic face.
and a vintage photo of Anandi at the restraunt with a moustache! first left.
Like I said earlier, Brits can't cope with snow, or ice for that matter! Everyone was sliding about,
was a funny sight. I was too cool to slide, cos I'm Russian, I know how to cope 8-)
[I slipped twice]
Simran and Anandi sliding: 
Cos of the traffic I had to walk home, and I saw pretty sights:
Festive house:
[all the houses have lights, well a lot do, but they never have snow and lights!]
I love footprints in snow, like ones in sand but they don't wash away so quickly.
I dunno why I love footprints, I think it's cos it just reminds you you're not alone.
Andddd it reminds me that my feet are abnormally small...but I'm one size footwear under the average in Britain! This guys feet must have been huge!:
And my toes were so cold, I came up with a GENIUS idea
GLOVES ON TOES!:
Fin.
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gobble gobble
god youre so weird
-natalie
pffft, says the one pretending to be a turkey!
Gobble gobble.
Hahaha, umbrellas in the snow xD Dude, last winter we almost snowed in, and stuff was still working, not much chaos, even with about 5 ft. snow. We had to plow the snow all the time, 'cause if not we'd not be able to move around.
That was a nice philosophy with the shoe print. I got small feet too, the shoes I wore Christmas Eve was waaay too big (ordered them online) :( Oh and my boots are life treatening, I slipped and crushed my ass while carrying my presents, so I lost 'em, and the last thing my friend said before I went was (well, maybe she said bye or Merry Christmas after that, anyway...) that I had to be careful with it, as the wrapping said.
I think I've thought of that too (gloves on toes) then I realized, we already have that, socks!
Those Santa facts are just stupid, Santa is magical, so logic like that doesn't aply.
WE OPEN PRESENTS CHRISTMAS EVE, 'CAUSE WE'RE SO COOL! (But I saved some for today, 'cause I'm cooler than the rest! Not really...but I did save some :D